Someone stole my gasoline

There I was driving my VW bus the transit bus stop early one morning this week. It was still dark and my lights were on. When I start my bus I typically check all the lights because it is closing in on 40 years old, things break. The two lights you are looking at to turn off are the oil light and the generator light. So as most mornings they turned off being a reliable old bus of superior West German manufacture not your VWs of today that are made in Kentucky and go to the shop a lot. Back to the lights that are on the same console as the fuel gauge. I look up at the fuel needle and the thing is on the bottom of the R portion of the gauge. (means reserve, when it is at the bottom it means you are burning fuel in the fuel line as well as all the goop and slop in the bottom of the tank). So naturally being a VW mechanic and no stranger to analog devices I bang on the fuel gauge with my knuckle. The needle bounce a little so I bang on it with the bottom of my travel cup, it didn't do anything that time just stayed on R.

So I think to myself "great, I have never fixed a fuel gauge on this thing before." I knew I had a 1/2 tank the last time I drove so I figure I had a lot left and then I started to think well maybe it leaked out while it was parked on the street for a few days or maybe all the rain we are having somehow shorted a fuse. Probably the fuse, I would have smelled 8 gallons of gas on the pavement rain or no rain, gas stinks. As I wake up I seem to get smarter. There is a gas station near where I park so if I fill it a bit and the needle pops I know my fuel somehow left the tank on its own or with help. I start shooting gas in and the needle responds immediately. No leak in the tank because I gave it the match test while I was filling it. No explosion no leak.

The only way that fuel left the tank was out the filler hole with help because the bus had not been laying on its side or upside down for a long time. Some shitheel ripped it off with a 70's French technique. Using a syphon. I guess when crude hits $90 a barrel the 4 foot garden hoses come out at night. Now I have to booby trap the gas cap, I am thinking of a simple device that connects to the battery from the cap via a circuit with a transformer and a high voltage capacitor attached that can pool half a joule (= about 25,000 watts) to make you go #1 and #2 your pants and drool for 10-15 minutes in the street. Sort of like a Taser. I just can't forget to turn it off when I go to fill the tank.